A negative connotation and an ingrained stereotype, along with the likes of “she is too emotional.”
Must a woman really behave like a man to succeed? Is it possible for a woman to grow a business without imitating the behaviours of her male entrepreneurs? Do we have to be the bitchy boss, dress down our femininity, or abide by the rules of a hierarchical structure. Personally, I was constantly focused on the competition of it all and trying to get ahead, always trying to be more, always more like my male counterpart. I was completely disconnected from my body and all of my decisions were made from my head and intellect. I was constantly looking outside myself for the answers. I was doing business like a man, and it hurt, a lot, and I inadvertently become my own worst enemy.
While women are clearly making great strides in the business world, there is a sense of disconnect and lack of satisfaction going on for many women. In other words, even though they may have a huge track record of accomplishments, they don't necessarily feel good inside or acknowledge their achievements.
I’ve written before about the value for authenticity, being one’s genuine or real self. Authentic people lead more effectively and are freer to create and innovate. Yet, despite the proven benefits of authenticity, I still encounter many women who think they must behave like a man to achieve professional success. ‘Act like a man to succeed’ is a misguided piece of advice on several counts, quite aside from the problem of deciding which men to imitate (what if they are dysfunctional or incompetent?), this go-to advice for women invalidates the natural female traits and strengths that are essential to succeed in business.
If women don’t play to their feminine strengths, no one else will. But what does leading a business like a woman really mean? What would it even look like?
For women in business, the go-go-go attitude of competition and comparison runs the risk of burn out. While these elements are necessary to keep us driven, focused, and moving forward, bringing to business the feminine elements of asking, vulnerability, multitasking, receiving, trusting their intuition, appreciation, typically good listeners, determination, building relationships, collaboration and life balance will serve well.
Many women business owners I meet say they that they don't believe in themselves and suffer from imposter syndrome and didn’t push forward, even in the face of a big opportunity.
So perhaps it comes down to being both competent and confident in ourselves. If a woman entrepreneur wants to grow her business without ‘acting like a man’ then she needs to be confident in her vision of what her business should be. And when women bring their authentic selves to work, their communication becomes more powerful, team members benefit from their contribution, and other women in her midst are encouraged to be more authentic too. In general, women lean towards having greater empathy and emotional intelligence than men. A woman’s capacity to tune into the underlying tensions of a team, or the mood of an individual, equips them to notice problems that men often overlook. This insight gives women an effective vantage point to address these problems, whether directly in conversation, or more subtly.
In general, women are driven less to prove themselves, or to build their ego. Bonding, trust and community are far greater motivators. The desire for authentic connection enables us to set the bar for honesty and empowered vulnerability. The strength to say, “I was scared but I dealt with it by…” or “something I’m working on with myself is…” and in a room full of men. it’s this feminine strength that effectively says, “Hey, remember we’re human!”
Displaying passion and emotion has a similar effect, it’s fuel for connection. It’s certainly not a weakness. Additionally, men are not typically renowned for their multi-tasking abilities, whereas, most women take this in their stride. In a world where information is coming from every direction, the ability to multitask gives women an amazing advantage.
To bring their full feminine strength to the table, women also need to be willing to identify self-sabotaging patterns and limiting beliefs. It’s an interesting area around the language women use when introducing a point in a meeting, often they’ll use so called ‘disclaimers’, “This might be a bad idea but…” or “This is probably not right but….” which is undermining the validity of their point and undermining the value they bring to the table.
"There is a sweet spot for women in business that allows us to bring the most powerful qualities of the divine feminine to our leadership while maintaining enough masculine energy to move things forward." ~ Alexis Martin Neely
Personally, I think that as woman we should ‘stay in our lane’ and that the true power of feminine leadership comes from women learning from each other, no competition, no backhanded comments, no jealousy, just support.
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