Everyone wants to be perfect, right?
Perfection can be a huge pitfall in your thinking if you want to make progress on anything. When everything always needs to be perfect, when will something be good enough for you to say that you have made progress and be satisfied with it? You are human and not a machine. It’s not about accepting mediocrity, but about being satisfied with the growth and possibilities of the moment. This way you can always celebrate small successes and you will remain motivated to continue towards the goal.
You might wonder what drives people to be perfectionists. Is it a seemingly unlimited need for appreciation from or validation by others perhaps? I have spoken to a few high achievers recently, those that most would say continue to do really well in whatever job or with whatever tasks they are given. They know that their work is valued, and they work hard to ensure that no-one can find any issue with their output. Some of these high-achievers know that if you are diligent, and have a clear strategy and engage your network, you can get it done to the level it needs to be. They aim for excellence through seeking feedback but know when to settle for getting it to ‘good enough’. Other high-achievers aim for their work to be perfect. They are meticulous and even fanatical about ensuring that everything is done perfectly. They create the perfect output, and everyone recognises that they really are good at their job.
Perfectionism is a trap. The pursuit of perfection is like the pursuit of happiness, if you chase it, you will never find it. This is because perfection is defined by those around you, by the standard you perceive they require of you. It is extrinsic. The perfectionist believes that if you do it perfectly, you can avoid all criticism and nobody can diminish your value. But, if someone does provide some feedback, if it requires some re-work, they believe that their efforts are inadequate. The perfectionist believes they will have to be more perfect next time, to double down on perfect. Even though I wasn’t good enough this time, I will be perfect next time. This approach often leads to a high level of self-induced stress and pressure and pushing oneself to exhaustion.
The pressure of being able to juggle all areas of our lives has become greater over time. It has become common for the expectation on all of us to be able to balance work, life, exercise, healthy eating, friendships, loving relationships, caring for family, finances, and career. Social media has only made it worse as you end up comparing someone else’s highlight reel with your everyday life. It becomes easy to believe that your best isn’t good enough.
This can happen at work, every day, in the smallest moments. We see someone effortlessly completing that task. Or presenting with such poise and clarity. We automatically focus on all the things we couldn’t do, all the things we don’t want others to know we can’t do. However, I know I can do this one thing really well, so I’m going to do it perfect and everyone will see how much value I bring. We compare the highlights of everyone else, without understanding how much insecurity they also have about what they have just done.
Perfectionism is an anchor; it limits our ability to do better. It burdens the perfectionist and those around them too as they feel they are “never good enough” in the perfectionists eyes.
Instead of perfect, aim for excellence. This is intrinsic. Perfection shuns feedback and stifles your potential. Excellence seeks out feedback. To ensure that you always get better, you need feedback. Excellence is focused on internal personal development. Start at good enough, and if you are diligent and have a strategy, you can strive to continuously get better, and achieve something excellent.
You alone are enough. You have nothing to prove to anybody.
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