As a small to medium business owner, the day-to-day challenges and stresses, the demands on your time, the risks you take, and the hours you invest to create a healthy and thriving business, are always on your mind. There are also those times of crisis that require even more of you, where you may wonder how you can stretch yourself in terms of time, and also manage to remain strong, both mentally and emotionally.
In the midst of lockdown, riots and Covid cases closer to home than ever before, I recently experienced my own family crisis which required more of my time and attention, while having to still remain focussed with my business commitments. My precious aunt became gravely ill, she had never requested help from anyone before but needed it now, I wanted to be there for her and my cousins who were not in the same province. For two months, I spent a large volume of time with her under trying times. During this, I had to continue to manage the ongoing demands of my business whilst still navigating the rest of my personal life.
During those two months of crisis, I discovered valuable tools that were useful. They assisted me to not just manage, but also to actually thrive during that challenging time and to create better relationships with my family.
Here are the tools you can use to manage crisis and trauma while in business:
1. Be willing to acknowledge what is actually going on
My aunt was overwhelmed and in a state of distress. I remember having a conversation with my aunt very clearly, and I told her what was going on and that I wanted to spend time with her. I will never forget the relief on her face and her constant interest in the weekly blogs I would write whilst at her bedside. It seemed as though we were able to move forward with everything that was required for us to do, much more easily, once we had that deep, honest, and difficult conversation together. By being honest, discussing and acknowledging what is happening in your own crisis situation, it assists greatly in what needs to be done, with greater clarity and understanding.
2. Use simple questions to release stress with others
During the time my aunt was really ill, I was confronted with a few unpleasant situations from certain family members, where I felt triggered with anger, disappointment and sorrow. Several times, I had to stop myself from reacting in an unbecoming manner.
There were two questions I decided to asked myself, that helped me to find the right words, to feel released of the sorrow and anger, rather than to create more stress. I asked, “what words can I say, so that this person can hear my meaning?” and “What words can I say that will create the most?” In the end it didn’t help the situation but it did help to regain my focus on my business and freed me of resentment.
3. Release perfectionism
Many of us were praised as children when we got things right and scolded when we didn’t, and so as adults, we find ourselves striving for perfectionism. When we become business owners, this need for perfection can hold us back especially in a time of crisis. It is essential to break those patterns during this time. When we have more going on, we have to speed up the time we take with the essential tasks, to keep our businesses moving forward. Being willing to delegate, to make quick decisions, and to trust ourselves is vital, without the noise of perfectionism.
4. Choose your priorities
Prioritizing and setting of boundaries is vital for the well-being of your business. I wanted to be there to help my aunt in the way her and I needed and when my cousins requested help I felt the lines of wanting to and a sense of obligation and not letting them down become fuzzy, to prevent this feeling I needed to create and communicate clear boundaries for when I needed to spend time on my business and what felt manageable for me both physically and emotionally.
5. Remember you
Don’t be afraid to ask for help for yourself. If this means seeing a therapist, fortunately I had one on hand, or a doctor for assistance, to process deeper grief or trauma, then do so. At the same time as choosing to be there for my aunt, and continue with my business obligations, I realised that I couldn’t neglect my own well-being. I always recommend a day a week for my coaching clients to do the things that they love to do, things that nurture them and enable them to continue to have the energy to give. I had to remind myself of this (and so did my clients remind me) as this is particularly important in times of stress and trauma. Our minds may tell us we should push on and carry on working but we cannot be there for other people, or for our business, if we forget to set aside time for ourselves.
6. Ask for help
Give others the opportunity to help you, and for you to ask, and to receive help. With your wider community of your friendship and business circles, you may require assistance in small ways, from simple household tasks, to checking in and being open with your clients. We can build deeper bonds of trust with these relationships by asking for help, especially in times of difficulty. The help you require may be as simple as engaging a cleaner for your home while you process the crisis and manage the more immediate tasks of your business.
It is through our most challenging times and crises when we discover our actual strength and capabilities.
Dedicated to Lyn who I miss dearly.
Thank you so much for sharing. A really helpful read for any business owner.
Thank you for sharing. There is so much trauma (of all types) that so many in our country are currently dealing with. It's so useful to have some tools to be able to keep moving forward. Hats off to you Sandi for navigating through all that you were dealing with personally, whilst still keeping the momentum going as best as you could on the work front. As one of your clients, I salute you!